white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
