At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
