May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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