I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
