she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
