I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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