we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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