I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
