The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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