dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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