Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
