I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
