Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
