did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
