i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
