It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Randomize
