ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
