So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
