You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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