Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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