drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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