My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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