if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
one two three fourrrrnication!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
