So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
