Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
