I think scott just propositioned me for sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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