Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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