hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
