I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
