so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
