have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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