There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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