then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
