You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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