I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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