Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
