I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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