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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan

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• (805): View more from California

  I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants

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