if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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