So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
