I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
