This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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