I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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