If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
