How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
