a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i have two assholes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
