Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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