he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
