trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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