The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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