i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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